DEALING WITH THE CO-WORKER FROM HELL
Taming Tough People
All of us, at one time or another, have run into “the co-worker from hell”. Perhaps his/her behavior is antagonistic. Perhaps he/she spends the day complaining to colleagues and being stubborn. How do you cope when you’re the target?
Sandy Crowe, author of the tape series, Snakes, Apes, & Bees: Guide to Dealing With Difficult People, offers the following guidelines for dealing with these people.
Set the example.
What goes around comes around, says Crowe. When dealing with co-workers, it’s crucial to remember that what you do to and with them will be reciprocated and may come back to haunt you. However, “If the example you set is superior and consistent behavior,” she says, “it will be followed.”
Resist being sucked in.
Too often, if a co-worker is having a bad day, it’s easy to get sucked in and have one yourself, no matter if you were initially feeling great. Ask yourself, “How easily am I led into a co-worker’s emotions? Do I let the complainers pull me in?” You’re in charge of your emotions, and you have a choice as to the way you feel.
The more you understand, the more you can be in
control.
When you allow people to push your buttons, it says that they know you better than you know yourself. When that happens, they can take advantage of it.
Reward behavior you want to see repeated.
A reward for one is often a punishment for others. Giving the recognition by paying attention is a reward; so is your getting angry.
Ignore behavior you don’t want to see repeated.
However, if your co-worker acts in a bigoted or harassing way or risks opening up the company to a lawsuit, bring the matter to your manager’s attention.
Confront in private.
Embarrassing a colleague in front of peers is not a way to encourage a change in behavior. It might make the problem more intractable. When you confront the person, treat him/her as you would want to be treated.
Confront by asking, not telling.
Ask questions about how people did what they did or their strategy in approaching something rather than why they did it a particular way. Asking “what” rather than “why” gives you information rather than justification and alleviates defensiveness.
Whatever tactic you use, remember to take it seriously, not
personally. Often, a colleague’s
behavior may be directed toward you but it’s not about you. He/she might be frustrated about a policy or
your boss, but can’t or won’t try to solve the problem.
Source: The (