DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR?
Communication Skills
The best way to understand what communication is –and is not—is to trace the word back to its root. The ancestor of our word communication (and communicate) is the Latin word communicare, which means “to share” or “to have something in common”. What this means is that you communicate when, and only when you take ideas that are yours—because they’re rattling around inside your head—and place them inside someone else’s head, so that the two of you have them in common. An accurate definition of communication, then, is the sharing of ideas, opinions, or information with one or more people.
This does not mean that other people must agree with your ideas or opinions, and it does not mean they must believe the information you impart. It simply means that they must understand what your ideals or opinions are, what the information is. The instant that happens, the instant the other person says, “Oh, I see,” or “Aha”, I get it,” you’ve communicated. What was formerly inside your head is inside someone else’s head as well; it belongs to both of you. It’s common property. Either of you is free to accept it, reject it, ponder it, scoff at it, or do anything else with it. That does not matter. What does matter is that both of you understand it. That’s what is shared; not agreement but understanding.
Physiological – Physical problems—stuttering, strokes
Semantic – Different understanding of a word
Psychological – Mental
An effective leader’s most important skill is communication. And to be a good communicator, you must begin by listening. The art of listening is a difficult one. It requires an open mind and an appreciation of the contributions your colleagues have to offer. You must be receptive to their ideals, and attentive to their needs and feelings. Effective listening also requires a commitment to seek out a wide range of viewpoints. To receive the benefits of other people’s thoughts, you must make the effort to solicit them. And when those views are forthcoming, you must be willing to hear and consider them, complete and uncensored, even when they conflict with your own. Being a patient and sincere listener may be the hardest job you face each day. The temptation is always there to take the path of least resistance and heed only those with whom you agree. But effective leadership can be achieved only when you have attained the discipline—and honesty—to listen to and appreciate the opinions of others. Only then can you gain the trust and respect that is essential to good communication. Computer technology offers today’s educational leaders communications tools of unprecedented power and speed. The potential to convey vast amounts of vital data to large numbers of people is enormous. But to harness that power of communication and use it for effective leadership, we must begin by listening.
???Did
You Know???
*Communication comes from the Latin verb communicare which means “toshare or impart”.
*Research shows that without specific training in listening, most people do not exceed a comprehension efficiency rating of 25% when listening to another person speaking.
*As long as we are familiar with language that is being used, the average adult can listen to, and retain, 500 words per minute.
*The average adult speaks approximately 250 words per minute. Therefore, if the average adult can retain 500 words per minute, he has twice as much “mental time” than needed, while listening.
*The average adult lectures at 100-150 words per minute. This leaves us four times as much mental time! It is then a common misconception that the slower a person speaks, the more the listener retains.
*Prepare your work area.
*Take time to listen.
*Increase your knowledge base in your area.
*Assume a listening attitude.
*Provide feedback.
*Use the person’s name.
*Let the speaker vent his feelings.
*Always remain calm.
*Try to relate to the person’s situation. (Try to be empathetic and understanding.)
*Develop a plan of action.
*Establish a general rapport.
*Listen completely.
*Respond appropriately.
*Ask effective questions.
*Develop a plan of action.
*Have effective closure for the situation.
*Positive changes in the speaker – leads to – improved communication – leads to – increased productivity.
*PITCH A high voice suggests weakness, excitement, and/or irritation.
*TONE Vary the tone of your speech to reflect your personality. Speaking in a monotone will make people think you are not interested and do not want to help.
VOLUME Volume adds life to your voice. Volume change keeps people’s attention. Pay attention to background noise and adjust your volume accordingly.
*RATE Talking too slowly can be distracting; talking too fast may make people feel confused or rushed.
*CLARITY Enunciate!!! Do not have anything in your mouth while speaking.
Fact-finding questions attempt to establish what can be done, what has been done, and
What should be done.
Types of fact-finding questions: 1. Closed-ended questions can be answered “yes”or “no”.
2.
Open-ended questions ask for more information.
3.
Confirmation questions seek an agreement.
4.
Deflection questions gather additional, non-related information.
5.
Paraphrasing questions summarize or put it into different words.
6.
Sequencing questions attempt to put events in order.
Presented
by James Days at ACU-I Region VI Conference at Tuskegee University
October 27, 1995